{"id":14,"date":"2025-01-18T22:30:00","date_gmt":"2025-01-18T22:30:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2026-01-18T17:01:43","modified_gmt":"2026-01-18T22:01:43","slug":"i-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/2025\/01\/18\/i-hope\/","title":{"rendered":"read this in 2035"},"content":{"rendered":"

January 18, 2035<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ten years. That feels so far away\u2026 and yet, I know it isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

If you’re reading this now, hi. I hope you’re somewhere beautiful.
Not necessarily a beach in Greece (although… fingers crossed), but a life that feels<\/em> beautiful. A life that fits like your favorite oversized hoodie, soft, warm, lived-in.<\/p>\n

I hope you’re proud of the path you took, even if it was messy, even if you had to crawl some days. I hope you\u2019ve done something good. Not \u201cproductive,\u201d not impressive, just\u2026 good<\/em>. Something that made you feel like you mattered.<\/p>\n

I hope you didn\u2019t give in to that little voice, the one that tried to convince you to shrink, to settle, to disappear into someone else\u2019s life as a background character. You weren\u2019t made to be an accessory.<\/p>\n

I hope you’re a mother maybe to three. Or maybe to two and one on the way.
Or maybe you’re mothering yourself the way you always needed to.
I hope your home smells like love. Like chole bhature on Sundays.<\/p>\n

I hope you found a partner who looks at you like you\u2019re made of galaxies, not work. Someone who gets your chaos and still chooses to stay. Who holds your hand during meltdowns and folds laundry without being asked. I hope he’s gentle. You deserve gentle.<\/p>\n

I hope you have fuck you<\/em> money. Not just to spend but to feel safe.
I hope you\u2019ve travelled. Alone. With your kids. With your mother. With no reason at all except wanting to see something new.
I hope Maa is still here, still glowing, still forgetting her meds even though you literally<\/em> reminded her five minutes ago.
I hope she\u2019s the kind of grandmother you used to imagine, soft, hilarious, and slightly unhinged in the best way.<\/p>\n

I hope your brother is thriving.
I hope everyone has grown but not apart.
I hope your life is soft where it used to be sharp.
I hope you love<\/em> your body. I hope you stopped apologizing for it.
I hope you don\u2019t cringe at who you used to be. She kept you alive. She got you here.<\/p>\n

I hope you\u2019re satisfied.
I hope you\u2019re full.
I hope you like<\/em> yourself. Not just in photos. But in silence. In mirrors. In crowded rooms.<\/p>\n

And above all,
I hope you\u2019re happy<\/em>. Not just on birthdays or on vacation. But in the quiet hum of your everydays.<\/p>\n

\n

January 18, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

But today…
It\u2019s not dreamy. It\u2019s not soft.
It\u2019s slow. It\u2019s stuck. It\u2019s survival mode with a smile.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m living in a space filled with people, and yet I feel like I haven\u2019t heard my own thoughts in weeks. I miss being alone so badly it aches. I miss silence. I miss sitting in my bed, in a clean room, with my favorite playlist playing and no one around asking for anything from me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m tired.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in a relationship that doesn\u2019t feel like a relationship anymore. I still love him, I do but I don\u2019t think he knows how to love me back in a way I can actually feel. I\u2019m not asking for a fairytale. I just want to feel wanted. Chosen.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m so emotionally tired. I want to leave, but I also want to be held. I want peace, but I want it without starting over. I want a different ending without<\/em> having to change the story. And I know that\u2019s not how it works, but still… I wish.<\/p>\n

Financially? I\u2019m not just in distress. I\u2019m in my villain origin story<\/em>.
I\u2019m scraping. Manifesting. Begging the universe for a break. Just one.<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t been to the gym. I haven\u2019t done groceries.
I\u2019ve barely eaten a vegetable in weeks.
Everything feels like a chore, even joy.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m going back to school. And that? That\u2019s the one flame still flickering. I love it there. I love the person I become when I\u2019m learning.<\/p>\n

I want to come back to myself. Slowly. Even if it takes a while.<\/p>\n

Right now, life feels stuck. Like I\u2019m walking through fog. But I haven\u2019t stopped walking.<\/p>\n

And maybe that\u2019s enough for today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

January 18, 2035 Ten years. That feels so far away\u2026 and yet, I know it isn\u2019t. If you’re reading this now, hi. I hope you’re somewhere beautiful.Not necessarily a beach … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":100,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/IMG_4964-scaled.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":235,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14\/revisions\/235"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sincerelyaashi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}